I am a jack of all trades and master of none. I am a psychology major who never became a psychologist. A film buff who never went to film school. A musician who only bothered to minor in music. A person who completed all but the final requirement of a graduate program but has no degree. I am a former member of a band. I spent six years working seven days a week, but have little to show for it. I am Brian Johnson. I am Lloyd Dobler. I am a Golden God. I am Jack's inflated sense of self importance. I like vanilla better than chocolate. I am a horrible dancer, but get a few drinks in me and I won't care. I sometimes play air guitar when listening to Fugazi alone. I am righteously indignant. I am running out of pseudo-interesting things to say about myself.